Child Custody and Holiday Visitation

Fall is here, and some major holidays are around the corner – Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and others. These are holidays that families often like to celebrate together, but if you’re divorced and the non-custodial parent, you may have to plan ahead to be with your children during this time. To avoid sadness, anxiety, and confusion, make sure that you understand what your visitation order says about spending holidays with your children.

How is Visitation Established?

Visitation is the term used to describe the time that a non-custodial parent spends with his or her children. Visitation can include regular day-to-day or weekly schedules, summer schedules, and holiday schedules. The courts encourage parents to collaborate in finding a visitation schedule that works for all parties, taking into account work schedules, school schedules, sibling relationships, the geographic locations of the parties, and other relevant factors. In many cases, parents can work out these visitation issues together or with the assistance of their respective attorneys. In particularly contentious situations, a divorce mediator can be called upon to help the parties mediate a visitation schedule.  

If the parents cannot agree, the court will make a decision after evaluating many factors. The objective is to reach a decision that is in the best interests of the child. Many considerations come into play here, including:

• The physical and mental fitness of each parent
• The character and reputation of each parent
• Each parent’s desires for custody and visitation
• The potential for each parent to contribute to the child’s well-being
• The daily routines of the parents and children
• The age, health, and preferences of the child

Visitation can be awarded to biological parents, step-parents, and even grandparents. It is also important to note that visitation can be denied when it is likely to place the child into an unsafe situation. 

Visitation Arrangements

Visitation is part of the court order that defines when, how, and where the non-custodial parent may have contact with the child. Visitation rights are important because they allow people to spend quality time with the child, even those without custody. Visitation arrangements come in many forms and are often agreed to in advance by divorcing parents. Visitation arrangements can include:

• A flexible visitation arrangement
• Reasonable visitation, as determined or approved by the custodial parent
• A pre-determined and structured visitation arrangement that takes into account weekends and holidays
• Supervised visitation

For divorced families, the normal stress levels can seriously escalate during the holidays. Thus, if your holiday visitation is not predetermined, it makes sense to start planning it now. It’s best to start by communicating in writing through shared calendars and emails to avoid any misunderstandings. The goal should be to create a simple holiday schedule that is relatively easy for all parties to follow. 

Here are some common custody arrangements:

• Alternate holidays every other year – One parent takes the kids on even-numbered years, and the other takes them on odd-numbered years.
• Split holidays– If you’re lucky enough to be in the same city, you might consider splitting the holiday. For example, have your child spend Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas Day with the other.
• Fixed holidays – Certain holidays can hold important meanings for one parent but not the other. If a particular holiday is especially meaningful or important to you or your spouse, consider having your child spend the day with you or your ex. 

Here are some important tips to help you approach holiday visitation discussions with your ex in a positive and constructive way

• Don’t involve your kids – In most situations involving visitation and custody discussions, it’s best not to involve your kids. In most cases, it’s best to present a unified front once you and your ex have agreed on a schedule. 
• Avoid requesting changes – If you have a pre-set visitation schedule, try to avoid requesting changes. The purpose of a pre-set visitation schedule is to create certainty for the custodial parent, the non-custodial parent, and the children.
• Be reasonably flexible yourself – Alternatively, try to be reasonably flexible if you can. Don’t say no in a knee-jerk way to a reasonable request by your spouse. 

If you share joint child custody with your ex-spouse and are coparenting, you may still encounter issues regarding holiday schedules. Establishing clear and predictable schedules provides children with stability following a divorce or separation. And a structured routine helps manage expectations and minimize conflict between parents. Co-parenting arrangements consist of two primary components: a regular co-parenting schedule for day-to-day routines and a holiday schedule for special occasions. Understanding how these two schedules are defined and interact is a common concern for parents. If you are coparenting, make sure you are clear about your holiday custody schedule. 

If there are disputes between the parents about a previously agreed-upon holiday visitation schedule, your Bethesda child custody attorney can write a demand letter encouraging your spouse to follow the holiday visitation schedule. As a last resort, motions to enforce visitation are often heard quickly by the Maryland circuit courts and can save you from missing holidays with your child. 

Contact the Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC for Immediate Assistance

Here at the Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, we know that the holidays can be a challenging time for divorced or separated families.  But with proactive planning, open communication, and a focus on your child’s happiness, it’s possible to create a meaningful and enjoyable season for everyone involved. If you and your ex-spouse can prioritize the well-being of your children and strive to operate with a fair and flexible attitude, it’s likely you will be able to navigate your holiday custody arrangements in a way that allows you all to develop cherished memories. 

Our team is here to provide guidance, support, and mediation services to help families create workable solutions that make the holiday season a positive experience for both parents and children. If you’re struggling with holiday custody arrangements or have questions about your rights, don’t hesitate to contact us.