Your Spouse Wants a Divorce – What Should You Do Next?

You shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve led pretty much separate lives for the past year or more. You don’t do the things that you used to enjoy doing as a couple – having a weekend date night, making dinner together, planning fun weekend getaways. There are arguments over little things, and there’s a lot of tension in the household. Finally, your spouse addresses the elephant in the room and asks for a divorce. So now what?

If you don’t want a divorce, there are some steps you should take right away. Perhaps the most important first step is to stay calm and listen to your partner’s explanation of why he or she wants a divorce. If you think there’s room for a rapprochement, you might consider couples therapy. 

But if you agree that divorce is the best resolution for both of you, it’s important to know that, as of 2023, spouses in Maryland can file for divorce based on any of the following:

• Irreconcilable differences
• Mutual consent, or
• Separation lasting at least six months

The elimination of Maryland’s former fault-based grounds for divorce opens up the option of getting divorced to all spouses who wish to bring their marriage to an end. Before this change, a spouse seeking divorce had to prove adultery or other forms of marital fault that often proved challenging. But now establishing “irreconcilable differences” is not difficult. If you have different values, different goals, or different communication styles, these can all be considered irreconcilable differences. If you are ready to get divorced, a Bethesda divorce attorney at our firm can help you start the process today.

Moving Forward With Your Divorce

If you want to move forward with a divorce, here are the first steps to take.

Contact a Divorce Attorney – Finding the right divorce attorney is critical. Important considerations are relevant experience, accuracy, honesty, and litigation success. You should interview potential attorneys to ensure that they meet your requirements. Relevant experience means that you should seek out a lawyer with substantial experience in family law and divorce. Accuracy and honesty are attributes that you should seek out in any professional that you hire to assist you, and this is equally important as you seek out an attorney to handle your divorce. You want your lawyer to impartially and objectively evaluate your situation, and not make any guarantees about the outcome of your case. A lawyer’s litigation success is also important to evaluate when choosing a divorce attorney. Litigation is always a possibility in a contentious divorce, and you want to know that your lawyer has a strong track record in this area.

Protect Yourself – If you are concerned about spousal abuse or domestic violence, your safety and the safety of your children are of utmost importance, and you need to develop an exit strategy. If necessary, your lawyer can help you obtain a Protective Order, which is Maryland’s version of a restraining order. You must have a certain type of relationship to get a Protective Order, but being married, divorced, or currently separated qualifies for obtaining a Protective Order.

Start Gathering Paperwork – When spouses divorce, in most cases, they will need to produce a large amount of paperwork. This primarily includes financial paperwork regarding your income, expenses, taxes, assets, and liabilities, and any other types of documents that your lawyer requests. Your spouse will have to do the same in order for the court to have a clear picture of the financial profile of you as a couple and each of you individually. It’s important to be forthcoming and honest with your attorney about your financial situation. If there is something you don’t want to share with your spouse’s attorney or the court, your divorce attorney will evaluate whether and under what circumstances non-disclosure is lawful.

Focus on Your Children – If you have minor children, it’s important to be mindful that the divorce will have an impact on them, and there are many child custody issues to discuss with your spouse.  Don’t involve your children in the divorce details or ask them to take sides. Start thinking about how you and your spouse will share legal and physical custody. Legal custody involves the major decision-making for health, education, and religion, while physical custody involves the child’s living arrangements. There are many variations on legal and physical custody. The state of Maryland requires you to file a Parenting Plan that will address these issues. It’s important to note that the state may deny your Parenting Plan if it determines it is not in the child’s best interest. In general, the term ‘best interest of the child’ is the principle that holistically evaluates all relevant considerations in deciding child custody. Note that under Maryland law, it is presumed that both parents are capable of exercising legal and physical custody in the absence of evidence or testimony to the contrary. 

Try to Remain Civil With Your Spouse – Regardless of how you may be feeling as you process your divorce, it’s important to remain civil to your spouse. While divorce is generally a difficult process, particularly if you have children, it’s important to keep your emotions in check. Remember that you share friends and in-laws, and may end up being together at weddings, funerals, and other community events.  

Contact The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, LLC

There are many legal aspects to a divorce, both before the divorce, during the divorce process, and post-divorce. For example, before your divorce is final, you may be encouraged by your attorney or ordered by the judge to engage in divorce mediation. Although you will ultimately need to agree on alimony, child custody, child support, and property distribution in order to finalize your divorce, once these terms are agreed to, they may subsequently need to be modified because of a change in circumstances of either party.

Here at The Law Offices of Brandon Bernstein, we understand that you’re not just choosing an attorney, you’re selecting a knowledgeable and empathetic partner who can help you navigate your divorce during what is almost certainly an extremely painful and discombobulating period of time. Contact us today for a complimentary consultation.